Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
