Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
