i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
