I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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