i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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