I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
