Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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