Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
