she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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