my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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