I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
