Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
