10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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