I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
How external is "for external use only"?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
