Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
