We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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