That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
