is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
