come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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