If you die in college, do you die in real life?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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