Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
