Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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