It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
