So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
