Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
