just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
