Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
