i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize