if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
