Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
