We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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