Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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