doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
