It's like God shit irony all over that family
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
