Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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