Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize