By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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