One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
