Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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