i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize