Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize