...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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