I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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