At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
