I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
