so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? šš
Having Fatherās Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. āHey dad just calling to say I love you.ā While Iām navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Fatherās Day.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
