but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
