Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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