Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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