What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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