I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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