Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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