they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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