If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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