i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's blow job season.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
