Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
