Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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