I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Are we still banned from the library?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
