Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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