The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize