I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
