I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
