Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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